DIONYSUS

Good morning ya’ll, my name be Dionysus. I’m broke since that Wonka man fired me, that ain’t be good. I be applying for being like da’ ruler of all yeah. My boys tell me dat’ big ol’ zeus retired, and there was a free position in Mt. Olympus, so I be willing to take it so I can make a bunch o’ parties, man, you know what I mean.  

            I’m sure I got what it takes to work there, man. I be so cool an’ popular, Im like da’ god o’ parties man. I also make like da’ best wine in da’ whole world. Im also very smart, I got like 2.3 final average in math, an’ I now what 2+2 be. I got so much skills, I play so much games, Im like so strong. I even beat the Scary Maze Game without crying for 4 months, I be like supah’ macho man. I’ve work like everywhere, I have like so much experience man. I know how to dance, stomp grapes, I work at Willy Wonka’s chocolate magic place and even made wine for Gagu, the greatest store eva’.

            Im like, so interested in working as da’ boss of everyone. I’m so fun, I have like 1 friend and like everyone loves me. I’m a wild man, so fun I’m always at da’ parties like #yolo #swag oh yeah.  Im a great boss and I’m so responsible I once managed to keep a fishy alive for 2 days, Im like that responsible.

            Ya’ man thank you a lot for reading this, like so much dude. Here I attached my job application so you can see it, when you see dat’ you gonna like here me right away man, lke so cool. Well, now bye, and YOLO. And remember, if Im god, everyone be getting wine and parties will be regular, so yeah, make me da' boss if ya' want parties.